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  • Listening to: RHCP- Mellowship Slinky in B Major
  • Reading: Nothing at the moment...
  • Watching: Nothin'
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Zilch
  • Drinking: Nada
Holy shit, everyone... I made it! I didn't die of dehydration, I didn't break anything, and I made it through the fire and flames of Missouri (AKA: The Armpit of America). I'm officially a combat Engineer in the U.S. army. Yay?

Overall I had a ton of fun, and I'm ready for the next adventure. Guess what that is? I'M BEING STATIONED IN GERMANY!!! So far, I've heard nothing but good things about being stationed in Bamburg- I hope it lives up to the reviews.

I don't know about much painting coming in in the near future, but you'll probably be seeing some photography once I get my new laptop up and running (I bought a Mac... YAY!). As of right now I'm enjoying (well, [i]enjoying[/i] may be a bit strong, I'm [i]dealing with[/i]) my leave and I'll be shipping off to Bamburg on the 26th of this month.

Wish me luck on my flight. :fingerscrossed:

I need to find a fresh pack of cigarettes...
  • Listening to: Violent Pornography- System of a Down
  • Reading: Nothing at the moment...
  • Watching: Nothin' (Jeebus, I'm blind!)
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Zilch
  • Drinking: Nada
Anyway, I've been going through a serious dry patch with my art since getting out of school, and since I've come back from Tucson, AZ I've been feeling a lot more inclined to draw and I'd like to start a painting again. Although, with me shipping off to basic training in less than a week I don't think I'll have the time, but I'm going to give it a shot.

------------------------


This has nothing to do with the subject of this Journal, but I just want to say 'Violent Pornography' by System of a Down is one funny song. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard... (Mikey, if you can find a file of the song on the web, you and Tre have got to listen to it. I think you'll both get a kick out of it.)

-----------------------

MY STATE IS MORE STUPIDER THAN YOUR STATE!!!

Stupid Pennsylvania Laws:

It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon, revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding.

It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel.

It is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.

Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue.

A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.

You may not sing in the bathtub.

Fireworks stores may not sell fireworks to Pennsylvania residents.

A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.

Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass.

Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk.

No more than two packages of beer at a time may be purchased, unless you are buying from an official “beer distributor”.

All liquor stores must be run by the state.

Motorized vehicles are not to be sold on Sundays.

You may not catch a fish with your hands.

You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth.

Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish.

Though you do not need a fishing license to fish on your own land, a hunting license is required to hunt on your own land.

There is a ban on men becoming aroused in public in Allentown, Pennsylvania.

Persons convicted of felonies may not operate Bingo games in Bensalem, Pennsylvania.

Operators of bingo games may not advertise the prizes offered in Bensalem, Pennsylvania.

--------------

If you want to check out the stupidity of other states' laws, go here: www.dumblaws.com

Oh, and if you want to see some REEEEEEALLY stupid laws, check out West Virginia... Holy shit!
  • Listening to: I Just Wanna Live- Good Charlotte
  • Reading: Jonathan Strange and Mr.Norell
  • Watching: Nothin' (Jeebus, I'm blind!)
  • Playing: nothin'
  • Eating: Pretzels
  • Drinking: WATAH!
I found this a-freakin'-mazing little survey in negativemarionette's journal while I was wandering aimlessly through the vast reaches of dA. I thought it was intriguing.


RULES:
1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5.Put this on your journal.


1.If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?
November Has Come
[Okie dokie…]

2.How would you describe yourself?
The Man Who Sold the World
[Would I be this broke if I sold this rock?]

3.What do you like in a girl/guy?
Out of Line
[ :evillaugh: ]

4.How do you feel today?
Dizzy
[ ^^; Maybe a little]

5.What is your life's purpose?
Space Truckin'
[Hahahaha!]

6.What is your motto?
Time is Running Out
[Of course]

7.What do your friends think of you?
Cotton-Eye Joe
[ ^^; ]

8.What do you think of your parents?
Hypocrites
[Here's hoping they don't read this, lol.]

9.What do you think about very often?
God Must Hate Me
[Hahaha, I don't think I've ever actually listened to that song before]

10.What is 2 + 2?
Critical Acclaim
[Duh.]

11.What do you think of your best friend?
Psycho
[Hahaha. Definitely.]

12.What do you think of the person you like/love?
Comfort Eagle
[ O.O; ]

13.What is your life story?
Walk the Sky
[ ? ]

14.What do you want to be when you grow up?
Zoe Jane
[ :XD: ]

15.What do you think of when you see the person you like/love?
Fly Trapped in a Jar
[Lol]

16.What will/did you dance to at your wedding?
Annihilation
[My stomach hurts from laughing now…]

17.What will they play at your funeral?
Set Your Eyes to Zion
[Umm…]

18.What is your hobby/interest?
Elevator Music
[Yeah, I'm not a very exciting guy. Lol.]

19.What is your biggest fear?
Tomorrow Comes Today
[Wow. I always thought it was spiders.]

20.What is your biggest secret?
Death of a Martian
[I swear I didn't do it!]

21.What do you think of your friends?
Twisted Transistor
[Damn right. They're all a little twisted]
  • Listening to: Dirty Harry- Gorillaz
  • Reading: On Writing: A Memoir... By Stephen King
  • Eating: Marshmallows
  • Drinking: Hot chocolate with caramel syrup
I've been pretty busy lately. A while back, I went to a temp agency to see if they could help me get a job- before that, I'd been applying everywhere and no one would hire me. Finally I got a little fed up, and just said, "Fuck it."

Anyways, I went to the temp agency (called Career Concepts if anyone's curious), filled out the application, and ended up sitting in the waiting area for a very long five minutes. After that the, guy taking care of my paperwork came out (Mike was his name), and asked, "You want a job today?"

I was a little stunned. Eventually, though, I found my voice and said I'd do it. It wasn't what I'd hoped for, but they were paying me. I ended up working for a plastics company called accudyne (I think that's how you spell it). I worked there for six days before I got laid off. They gave me just long enough to get used to working second shift before they dumped me- and all the other temps working there- out on the streets. Apparently, the company was hemorrhaging money and had to cut employees.

Waking up to a phone call telling you you've been laid off is NOT a pleasant way to be greeted. In the end, though, everything worked out. Mike, after breaking the news to me with all the subtlety of a blunt axe, told me that he had another job for me if I wanted it. And that's where I'm at now. I've been working first shift (7:30am to 4:00pm, Mon. to Fri.) at Plastek for about a month now.

Overall, it hasn't been that bad. I'm in better shape than I've been in ages (carrying boxes for eight hours a day will do that to you), there's no more homework to worry about, and I still have the weekends off.  And this job is by mo means permanent. I'm just killing time until June. Then I'm shipping off to Basic Training.
Also, I have some cash saved up and I'm trying to see if I can fit in a college class or two before I ship out.

Unfortunately, the painting I was working on was a complete flop. It kept throwing a new problem at me every tinme I sat down to work on it. Finally, I just got disgusted and trashed it. I'd like to try something a little more bold and iconic, rather that one of my opinion pieces, but I don't know if I'm going to yet. We'll see what happens.


-----------------------

With all the extra time I've got, I've been able to do a lot more reading. And I've gotten into some great new books. Well, they might not be new to the market or anything, but they're new to me.

-On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King
*I've just started this one, and it's one of the coolest things I've ever read. I figured I'd put this one up here because some of my watchers are also damn good writers and I think they'd get a kick out of this book. It's not just them I'm suggesting it to. Whether you like to read and/or write, I would recommend this book. Because along with Mr. King's views on writing, the first half is an autobiographical account of his life. To save time, I'll put it simply: That dude's been through some rough shit. If you want to know more, borrow it from a library. Personally though, I suggest buying your own copy. That's what I did.

-Confessor by Terry Goodkind
*I finished this book just before starting 'On Writing'. It's the conclusion of Goodkind's Sword of Truth series. You'd have to read your way through the rest of the series to understand the whole thing, but even if you don't, it's still a damn good book. I liked the whole series, and I think I've said this before, but a few of my favorites from it were Wizard's First Rule, Temple of Winds, Faith of the Fallen, and this last one Confessor.

-The Transall Saga by Gary Paulsen
*If Gary Paulsen sounds like a familiar name to you, it should. He wrote the books Hatchet, Brian's return, Brian's winter, and Nightjohn. You may have had to read one of these in middle school. While I didn't particularly like any of those books, the Transall Saga is one of my favorites (that's why I've hung onto it for nearly a decade). And yes, it is written for younger kids, but it's still a good story. It's just be a quick read.

-Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke
*I haven't read this book yet.  But I was wondering if anyone else has.
Hey guys, I don't know if you've seen it, but I (as well as 4,486 other deviants) would really appreciate it, if you's at least check it out.

Excerpt from the petition:

"Dear DeviantArt Administrators,

We, the DeviantArtsts would like you to:
1. Bring back to the old democratic and simple "number of favorites=amount of fame" system (at least for the browsing, as an option!).
2. Give users an option of a CHOICE between the new "FairExposure" and old " Popular". Perhaps make them as separate categories on the frontpage.
3. Update/fix the new "FairExposure" algorithm so that it addresses all the problems in the following list:

1. Promotion of obscure categories or miscategorization:
While this might be good and we can see things like poetry on the front page, this is also bad as it nominates art that shouldn't be on the front-page, such as poorly drawn art that only jumps there since its nominated by the "lottery"
Examples of this are:
Digital Art > Pixel Art > Text > Non-Isometric
This promotion goes so far that TWO artworks from the same category are now on the front page (example Photography > Still Life > Dolls and Figures)
Promotion of odd categories such as 'desktop screenshot'"



Please take a couple minutes and check it out (and hopefully sign it). I'd be cool to have the really good art from this site on the front page again.

Here's the www.petitiononline.com/dddddd/… .

:peace: :shamrock:
  • Listening to: Lilac Wine- Jeff Buckley
  • Reading: Faith of the Fallen by Terry Goodkind
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Nada
  • Listening to: Hallelujah- Jeff Buckley
  • Reading: Nightmares and Dreamscapes- Stephen King
  • Eating: Ginger Snaps
  • Drinking: Milk
Okie dokie. It's been a while since I've produced anything art related, but I do have a few things in the works. One of the will definitely end up in my gallery within the next week or so. As for the rest, eh, they'll probably feed the fire. I haven't felt very driven lately, art wise, and that piece will probably be the last painting for a while. I'm just tying up lose ends. Getting all that school shit I was bitching about in my last journal (or the one before that, I can't really remember, and I'm not going to take the five seconds to check) has really taken its toll. But it's taken care of, and I'm finally finished with that hellish experience. I graduated Wednesday, January 16, 2008. Now, I'm just killing time until June when I will be shipping off to basic training. In one of my other journals, I said I was going into the Marines. That's not happening. At the last minute, I decided to compare my choices instead of going for the first thing that caught my eye, and the Army is giving me a better deal. I signed my contract a few days before I graduated. I'll be shipping off to basic training June 11. In the meantime, I'm getting a job working third shift at a local convenience store and I may get the chance to do a little demolition work gutting the McDonald's in the local mall. What I'd like to do is start a little informative writing- you know, journalism and stuff. Maybe even a few short stories. I've had a few ideas kicking around that I started fleshing out about mid '07, but due to an overwhelming workload, I didn't have the time or energy to complete them.

I think I've said this to one or two people but I think I'm going to just lay it all out there for everyone as long as I'm typing this journal up. Joining the military is a really unpopular decision with most of the people I know. And it's even more difficult doing it by myself. The hardest part was signing the form designating who gets my assets in the event that I'm gunned down/blown up/killed in any miscellaneous ways. I realize that I can't rely on others all the time, but considering this is such a big decision, I could use something a little more encouraging than things like, "What the hell do you want to do that for?!" and, "You know we're in the middle of a war right now, right?" So if anyone has something negative to say about the military or my decision- please, do me the courtesy of keeping it to yourself.

On a more positive note, I finally know where I'm headed in life and I feel really good about that. I'm set job wise for the next four years. And I'll hopefully get a chance to help people. Plus, it's a guaranteed paycheck and full medical. Once I'm finished with my nine weeks of basic training, I'll be off for job training as a Combat Engineer.

Jeff Buckley- Hallelujah
  • Listening to: Brain Damage- Pink Floyd
  • Reading: Poe's complete works
  • Watching: My fingers trip over the compy keys
  • Playing: with the dustbunnies under the desk.
  • Eating: Soft pretzels
  • Drinking: Vanilla Cappuccino
Okie dokie. First off, never- I repeat: NEVER- leave Pink Floyd playing on your stereo/CD player when you are planning on going to sleep. Waking up to the sound of all kinds of different alarm clocks from the beginning of the song 'Time' is highly unpleasant. Especially when there's no actual alarm clock to punish for the harassment.

Second, I'd like to apologize profusely to anyone who has a message of any kind sitting in my inbox. I have been all bogged down with all kinds of unnecessary bullshit from school, and I'm trying to get that mess sorted out. Unfortunately, that's cost me much of my free time and my dA messages have fallen behind. The way school is going right now, I won't have a portfolio prepared for college, so instead, I'm going to go into the Marines, and take advantage of a military funded education. Plus, they need war illustrators. There's no promise that the position will still be open once I finish my twelve weeks of basic training, and whatever other job training they give me, but I'm hoping. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I'm trying to make sure I think this through entirely, because I don't want to lose heart halfway through, and get my ass shot off. The only reason I'm trying to get all this crap sorted out now is becasue I got a credit check late last week, and they said I've got enough credits to graduate now if I want.
  • Listening to: Feuer Overtüre/Prometheus Entfesselt- Therion
  • Reading: Poe's complete works
  • Watching: My fingers trip over the compy keys
  • Playing: With a piece of paper.
  • Eating: Soft pretzels
  • Drinking: Vanilla Cappuccino
Hey guys, just a warning about these phrases/sayings/whatever you want to call them (I think I've said it before, but I'll say it again for the benefit of new eyes). They're not meant to be offensive. I just thought they were either funny/cool and figured I'd share them. If you choose to read on, please try to view them objectively. I don't want anyone popping a blood vessel over these.

Also, everything in parenthesis is borrowed from somewhere else. I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to claim these as my own ideas. I think I have one or two that I thought of, but it's possible that someone else had the same idea, and I just haven't run across it yet. If that's the case, then, eh, I dunno. I'll think of something when I'm less tired.

Random Fact: When I was outside earlier, I was shivering so hard that my earrings were clinking together.

Oh, one last thing- I've tried to copy down where I read each one, but I've slacked off on that. If I do any more of these kind of journal entries, I'll try to be a little more diligent on citing where they came from. If I forgot to credit anyone, I'm sorry. Feel free to throw rocks at me.

...Seriously, THIS is the LAST thing. I promise (mayhap). If anyone has any quips, clever idioms, or anything else they'd like to share, I'd love to hear 'em. :peace: :shamrock:





-------------------------------------------------




"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?"
--Epicurus

"If you talk to God, you're praying. If God talks back, it's schizophrenia."
--Phil Spector

"In the beginning there was nothing. And then God said 'Let there be light!' And there was still nothing, except now everybody could see it."

"You will always be my friend, you know too much."

"Life's a beach and then you drown."

"Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?"

"Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional"

"If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?"

"You have dug yourself a grave, you have called out, I have stopped and I am giving you a wooden ladder, nothing solid, but climbing out of shit has never been easy. You are now taking my ladder and using it for fire wood. I haven't got anymore ladders and you look happy in your little hole. Rot." creepy-cupcake

"look out for the opportunity, don't stalk it"

"politics: poli means many and tics are blood sucking insects" MikeRainsAcid

"Don't sweat it. You'll save money on deodorant." creepy-cupcake

"Love your enemies- just in case all your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards."

"never trust a person that says either 'don't worry, I won't cum in your mouth' or 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help you'" creepy-cupcake

"You sound like an elephant with its nuts caught in a ceiling fan" MikeRainsAcid

"On the other hand, I have more fingers."

"He's a few hamsters short of a funwheel." MikeRainsAcid

Well, the glove's on the other foot NOW, isn't it?! -Gabe

"Don't you think it's odd how some people think you're a worm and others think you're a glow worm?" creepy-cupcake

"Arizona: It's LIKE hell, but with cactuses." MikeRainsAcid

"Every night I pray that everyone in the world can have a friend like you, because I don't see why I should suffer alone"

"Do I have to say it?"
"Yes."
"Uh-huh!"
"Fine...-sigh- ... They're always after me Lucky Charms."
"HA! xD"
"Now the next!"
"Aw, jeez… They're magically delicious!"
"HAHAHA!! XD"
"Perfect. xD NEVER gets old."

"Cute as a possum."

"Quick as a hiccup."

"older than two trees"

"tighter than bark on a tree"

"crooked as a dog's hind leg"

"crooked as a barrel of snakes"

"dumb as a box of hammers"

"Suburbia: Where they rip out the trees and then name the streets after them." creepy-cupcake

"The Ass family: Jack, Smart, Lazy, Kiss, and Dumb."

"Life is a game of cards, and either God's a crappy dealer or the deck is stacked."

"I push when it says, "Pull". Not because I want to go against the grain or be rebellious, I'm just a fuckin' idiot."

"Remember, remember,
The fifth of November,
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I know of no reason
The gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot." -V


-----------------------------------------------------


Part 1: lifeisunderrated.deviantart.co…
Part 2: lifeisunderrated.deviantart.co…
Part 3: lifeisunderrated.deviantart.co…
Part Phour: lifeisunderrated.deviantart.co…
  • Listening to: Patrizia- Fury
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: The clouds roll by
  • Playing: With fire
  • Eating: Halloween candy bought after the holiday
  • Drinking: Chocolate milk
Music:
I found some really cool operatic rock by Patrizia. And you can listen to her here. I'd start with 'Fury'. It's the best one there.

Literature/books:
I found a really cool site where you can download free eBooks called Manybooks.net. If you like reading, I'd check it out.

Other:
first, this site is dedicated to eliminating world hunger and improving english vocabulary. it's called Freerice.com. It's a pretty cool site, and everyone should really check it out.

All she's asking is that you download a small word document. It takes like, five seconds. I downloaded it already, and my computer didn't blow up or anything.  Project download

UPDATE: I must live in a hole in the ground because I keep running into music that's been around for a while, but I had no idea it existed. First, the amazing creepy-cupcake found me some Therion. Which, if anyone else lives in a hole or under a rock like I do, is a symphonic heavy metal band. Birth of Venus Illegitima is pretty damn good. Give it a listen, or not. Whatever milks your cow.

And second, the pyromaniacal firestarter678 introduced me to Rammstein, and I got hooked on their song Sonne.

Eh, I'm done for now. I have a painting due at 3:15 in the afternoon tomorrow, and I've barely got it started. That, and I'm pretty sure that a few of my fingers are frozen solid. I feel like death warmed over, here.
  • Listening to: Sweet Dreams- Marilyn Manson
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: That goofy obsessed smiley
  • Playing: with fire
  • Eating: Arby's Jalapeno bites
  • Drinking: WATAH!!!
     Hey, guys and gals. I've been bogged down with all kinds of work lately. Hence the lack of deviations and whatnot. I'll upload some stuff as soon as there's a break in the metaphorical clouds.

     Along with trying to juggle seventy billion projects at once, I've been nearly killing myself trying to get my hands on a copy of the song "Hey Pachuco" By Royal Crown Revue and I can't find it anywhere. Besides that song, I'm always on the lookout for new and interesting tunes. Mostly, I listen to rock (Any kind of rock) but I also like classical (heavy on the string instruments- cellos, violins, pianos... Stuff like that), and swing. There are a couple other genres that I like, but I have the memory span of a goldfish and can't for life of me remember what they are. One thing that I just drool over is opera sung to rock music (I'm talking soprano sung to electric guitar or something), but sadly, I haven't seen anything like that. If anyone knows of any bands/groups/whatever that carry a similar sound, I would love you forever for enlightening me. But that's just what I listen to. If you listen to something different, don’t hesitate to post! I'm always open to new music. And I kinda’ hopeother’s will get a little something out of this as well. Maybe try checking out some other people’s music.

EDIT: Oh, just a random thing here... My brother (<-- No, unfortunately that's not a typo) bought a thong. And tried it on at the store. This is my family :no:.
  • Listening to: The toast song
  • Reading: Stuff
  • Watching: Video of the toast song
  • Playing: With a toaster. FETCH BOY!
  • Eating: Not toast... T.T
  • Drinking: I'd drink toast if I could.
YEAH TOAST!!!

What bone is connected ot the drumbone?
  • Listening to: Sound Check (gravity) [mix]- Gorillaz
  • Reading: Comments and the like.
  • Watching: Nothing.
  • Playing: Zip.
  • Eating: Zilch.
  • Drinking: Nada.
Blue Man Group is coming to Erie, and I need $225 dollars for tickets. I hate being broke.

Okay, I'm all done bitching.

PS. :XD: That cat fight emote is the second funniest thing I've seen all day.

PPS. My dad is a freakin' hamburglar.
  • Listening to: Sex and Candy- Marcy Playground
  • Reading: Comments and the like.
  • Watching: Nothing.
  • Playing: Zip.
  • Eating: Zilch.
  • Drinking: Nada.
1) I am so freakin' tired you wouldn't believe it. But I'm not the least bit sleepy. Yes, there is a difference.

2) I could really use a cigarette right now. But my fingers are so cold that I don't think I could hold it, or even work the damn lighter. Yes, I am having a difficult time typing.

3) I've decided that I want the button on my computer to say 'destroy' or 'annihilate' instead of 'delete'. I think it would be much more amusing. :evillaugh:

4) Rum-soaked pineapple sounds awesome right now. Too bad I don't have any rum.

5) I need a cough drop. There is no way in hell I'm gong back to the doctors. I've used my seasonal trip. My body is not allowed to have anything else wrong with it until winter. I command it. :shakefist:

6) My house is infested with spiders. You remember the half-breed spiders from the movie arachnophobia? They look just like that. I swear to god. Have I mentioned that I'm deathly afraid of anything with more that four legs?

7)"Life is unfair. Kill yourself or get over it." -Black Box Recorder
That is the absolute most cynical, insensitive thing I've ever read. But it'd sure look good on a tee shirt.

--Compliments of Mr.Mars' insomnia :aww:
  • Listening to: System of a Down- Prison Song
  • Reading: Foundling- advanced reader's copy
  • Watching: Not much...
  • Playing: Froggy Funwheel- Joecartoon.com
  • Eating: Chocolate chip cookies. I made 'em.
  • Drinking: Milk. DUH.
Wannabe quiz (I tag whoever wants to take a whack at it. :evillaugh: )

[x] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.

[x] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.

[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door.

[x] You have jumped out/off of a moving vehicle.

[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed out loud, then people gave you weird looks.

[x] You have ran into a tree.

[x] It is possible to lick your elbow

[x] You just tried to lick your elbow.

[x] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune.

[x] You just tried to sing them.

[x] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

[ ] You have choked on your own spit.

[ ] You have seen the the Matrix and still don't get it.

[x] You didn't notice that in the last question "the" was spelled twice

[x] You just looked at it

[ ] Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde.

[x] People have called you slow.

[x] You have accidentally caught something on fire.

[x] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eye.

[x] You have caught yourself drooling.

[x] You've fallen asleep in class.

[x] Sometimes you just stop thinking.

[x] You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about.

[x] People shake their heads and walk away from you.

[ ] You are often told to use your "inside voice"

[x] You use your fingers to do simple math.

[ ] You have eaten a bug.

[x] You are taking this test when you should be doing something important.

[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.

[x] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, hair or pocket.

[ ] You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't even when you know it won't happen to you.

[x] You break a lot of things.

[ ] Your friends know not to use big words around you.

[x] You sometimes tilt your head when you're confused.

[x] You have fallen out of your chair before.

[x] When you're laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling.

[x] The word "umm" is used many times a day.
  • Listening to: Holiday in My Head by Smash Mouth
  • Reading: The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien
  • Watching: What do you mean by that?! *suspicious*
  • Eating: Five corndogs
  • Drinking: WATAH!
Anything not in quotes actually happened to me. The rest was found across the INTRAWEBZZ LOLLLOL... Okie- dokie, I'm done now. Enjoy.

...I was bored and I don't feel like sleeping.



“I'll worry about survival of the fittest when they make a waffle I have to HUNT!” (Damn right.)

"I feel smart! But stupid! Like I was slapped in the face with a library, and the only thing stopping the smart from coming out is the concussion!"

"I've said it before: equations are the devil's sentences. The worst one is that quadratic equation. An infernal salad of numbers." (I wish I had thought of this. XD )

“None of us are virgins, life has screwed us all” (Well, I don’t really believe that, but the sardonicism kills me.)

“If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with ‘Quit while you're ahead‘?”

"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter! Try again. Fail again. Fail better." --S. Beckett

“Wipe that face off your head!”

"Art is the lie that makes you realize the truth." - Picasso

“Build a man a fire, he will be warm for a night, Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.” (One time, I accidentally set my dog’s tail on fire. Just as I clicked the flint, he ran past. Luckily, I was able to put it out before he realized what had happened. )

“’Up is down’ …Well that’s just maddeningly unhelpful.” -Jack Sparrow

“Nobody move! I dropped my brain...” -Jack sparrow

“The world is the same. There’s just less in it…” -Jack Sparrow

“Welcome to McWorld, may I take your oil?” ( <--My all-time favorite saying.)

Mr.Krol: Jeeze, kid! What the heck is this? You write like a serial killer…
Me: :O (when I’m writing quickly, or I have a lot on my mind, by stupid brain can’t decide if it wasn’t me to print, or write in cursive, so it switches back and forth every few letters...)

“96% of teens overuse internet memes. If you're one of the 4% who doesn't, then Mr. T will pity you and Chuck Norris will roundhouse-kick you in the face.”

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and drown.”

"Sometimes I shoot to please, but mostly I shoot to kill."

“Therapy is expensive. Bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.”

“I’m a lover, not a writer.”

“Always look both ways before making a sandwich.”

“Weaseling out of things is an important skill to learn; it’s what separates us from the animals… Except the weasel.”

“A man who steals bread is desperate; A man who steals art is pond scum.”

“Art like morality, consists of  drawing the line somewhere.”

“You get the government you deserve”

“-Life is like a game of cards.
-Really?
-Uh-uh.
-Then... who are you?
-The Joker without a pair.”

“I saw the movie ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’ and I was surprised because I didn’t see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: They’re crouching and hidden.” -Steve Martin

"I know where you live" --Jesus

“Quit hogging up all the ugly!”

"If a girl picks up a rock, it's a rock. If a guy picks up a rock, it's a hand grenade."  - Some dude’s uncle

“Fruit loops: The gay cheerios.”

“I surrender, you confuse me.”  --Flappability

“When in doubt, add orange”

“I think all the people in kung fu movies ate really hot food before the fight because all they yell is ‘Watah!!’”

“I'm hyper. Expect anything.”

"Fuck waking up at dawn. If I wanna see a sunrise, I'll look one up on youtube."

My mom: If you get any skinnier, you’ll blink sideways.

“If ignorance were rabies, you'd be Kujo.”

“It’s a paperclip, you fool!”
  • Listening to: Slow Cheetah by RHCP
  • Reading: Everything's Eventual by Stephen King
  • Drinking: Red Bull
Okay, well... I think I've found something I can use for my avatar for now. Thanks to Sicc-Ness For the input :). If anyone else has any input, I'd be glad to hear it.

I've noticed my gallery is lacking any kind of consistency, so I was wondering, what should I post more of: drawings/sketches, or photographs? The paintings are the only thing I'm not going to change. And there will be more of them... As soon as I do something I think is worth posting.


:shamrock: :peace:
  • Listening to: Paralyzer by Finger Eleven
  • Eating: Cold, home made lasagna
  • Drinking: Umm... I THINK it's koolaid...
Same deal as before. I thought they were funny, worth remembering, or sounded cool. Most were found on the internet.

***The parts in bold actually happened. Italicized parts are just my two cents.



"The bad thing about life is it doesn't come with its own background music." (Too true.)

"If you keep taking time to stop and smell the roses you'll eventually inhale a bee."

"Think your way in, shoot your way out."

"If we do not follow our passions, we die, if only in our hearts."

"The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them."-William Clayton

"I don't want no damn vegetables! I'll be all healthy n' sh*t." -Keith (My dad)

"If you can read and you don't, you're dumb." --Malcolm Forbes

"Slinky + Escalator = Endless Fun" (I really want to try this. I'm going to have to buy a slinky and go to the mall :XD:)

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life"
- Confucius

Setting: Security station at Butlerfield airport (I have no idea where that is).
My dad (Talking to a cop): Dude, I've carried this knife since I was eight. I haven't felt like sticking it in anyone until now."


Happened 6/7/07:
Dad: (looking in the freezer) "Hey, cool! Toaster pastries without the paster… I mean toaster."
Me: "Dad, those are waffles."


"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand" - Kurt Vonnegut

"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer."

"The digital age can megabyte me."
--Me


"Duct tape is like The Force: It has a light side, a dark side, and holds the universe together." (I'm not a really big fan of Star Wars, but that cracks me up. :XD:)

"He is a man of honor, but not a man of virtue."

"More nervous than a long-tailed dog in a room full of rocking chairs."

"He has a face like a Saint - A Saint Bernard."
- Unknown

"A fellow with the inventiveness of Albert Einstein, but with the attention span of Daffy Duck."
- Tom Shale on Robin Williams (... That one kind of hurts because I think Robin Williams is awesome.)

"If you can't convince them, confuse them."
- President Harry S Truman

"For every action there is an equal and opposite government program."
- Bob Wells

"Due to recent cutbacks, and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off."
  • Listening to: Dashboard by Modest Mouse
  • Watching: The crazy emote. XD
"All beans are vegetables. Chocolate is made of cocoa beans. Therefore chocolate is a vegetable. Meaning that we should all eat 5 bars every day!" (Only dark chocolate though.)

"Well aren't you just a little ray of goddamn sunshine…"

"No, there's nothing to gain from giving me money… But don't let that stop you."

"Stress: Life letting you know you are alive while slowly killing you."

"An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind" - Gandhi

"Life is fleeting. Try not to fuck it up."

"When in doubt, lob a second grenade."

"Say 'carp' while making a sucking noise, then tell me, what the hell would produce that sound?"

"The existence of the flamethrower is proof that, at one point, someone said, 'I really want to light those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough.'"

"Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!"

"You can't leave footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave butt prints in the sands of time?"

"birthdays are very good for you. Studies show that those who have the most live the longest." -$Heidi

"Homophobia is so gay."

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy."

"A man who uses his hands is a laborer. One who uses his hands and mind is a craftsman. He who uses his hands, and his mind, and his heart is an artist." -St. Francis

"Love is like alcohol. The more you love someone, the better looking they become."

"your life is the way you make it... deal with what you have and be thankful with what you got... you ungrateful little shit."

"Dream like you'll live forever, live like you'll die tomorrow."

"Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics...
Even if you win...
You're still retarded…"

"too weird to live, too rare to die."

"I'm not perfect, but at least I'm not you."

"If I wanna blitz myself into some papaya-induced hallucination, that's my business."

"I see it, and yet, I don't see it."

"Friends are Gods way of apologizing for family."

"Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening."

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." -Douglas Adams

"I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either."

"Just because people don't understand you doesn't make you an artist."

"Noodling dumbassery"

"If it doesn't fit, force it. If it breaks, you needed a new one anyway…"

"Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I'll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?"

"Erotic is like a little feather.
Perverted is when you use the whole chicken."

"OH GOD I LOVE BUNNIES! *convulsions*"

"*points* OMG LOOK A PURPLE DISTRACTION!!!! *runs*"
  • Listening to: Hypocrites by Korn
  • Reading: The Blank Slate by Steven Pinker
  • Watching: The rain fall
  • Drinking: Red Bull *twitch*
I found these in a number of different places (Many of 'em here on dA) and I thought they were funny, worth remebering, or just sounded cool.

"I have a few exceptions to my philosophy on life. It seems my views change often. I don't want to change too much or bring up too many exceptions, though. If I did then they might start contradicting each other. I'm not that religious."

"I'm invincible! Well... So far."

"If life gives you lemons, cut them in 1/4s or 1/8s, and squirt life in the eye."

"Support evolution. Give sharp objects to stupid people."

"I plan to live forever… So far, so good"

"Stop the world! I want to get off!"

"Unleash your inner kidney."

"There are three kinds of people in the world: Those who can count, and those who can't."

"If wishes were fishes, we could walk on the sea."

"Club sandwiches, not seals."

"Who ever said that nothing is impossible has apparently never tried slamming a revolving door…"

"Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself!"

"The world is full of idiots, and someone needs to point it out to them or they will never know."

"Blondes are noticed but redheads are never forgotten."
-Unknown

"How about a nice tall glass of 'Just shut the hell up'?"

"I'm not being patronizing, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand."

"You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who's in ruttin' command here."

"Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I-"

"You can make a difference."
"I'd rather make a sandwich…"

"I turned to speak to God, about the world's despair, but to make matters worse, I found God wasn't there."
-Robert Frost

"I put bird seed in the ground but no birds grew from it. Dang birds."

"I simply adore children. But I could never eat a whole one."

"Damn right I'm good in bed. I can sleep for DAYS!"

"I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day."

"Insanity is the calling card of a great intellect."

"I tried to sniff Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck up my nose."

"'My kittens are on fire' is not a valid reason for interrupting my daily routine of doing absolutely nothing. 'Cause I'd laugh at the crispy kittens."

"game set match = tennis
set match run = arson"

"People are stupid. They don't teach you that at school, but that's where you learn it."

"I'd start a revolution... if I could get up in the morning"

"The line between genius and insanity is defined by whether or not you can fool people into thinking you're sane." (By my friend Dragon-Of-Eternal)

"SILENCE is GOLDEN, but DUCT TAPE is SILVER."

"Rule of Life: Cheat when the ball's not in your court, call cheating when it is, and deny, deny, deny."

"I'm a lover, not a fighter...but I'll still knock you the hell out!"

"There can only be one."
"But why cant there be two?"
"Because two ones make eleven."

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please."
-Mark Twain

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
-Mark Twain

"The devil is in the details."

"The detail is in the grays."

"I'm so hip I can barely see in front of my own pelvis."

If people expect me to act mature just because I'm eighteen, they've got another thing coming. :peace: