Phunny Phrases part 2

"All beans are vegetables. Chocolate is made of cocoa beans. Therefore chocolate is a vegetable. Meaning that we should all eat 5 bars every day!" (Only dark chocolate though.)

"Well aren't you just a little ray of goddamn sunshine…"

"No, there's nothing to gain from giving me money… But don't let that stop you."

"Stress: Life letting you know you are alive while slowly killing you."

"An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind" - Gandhi

"Life is fleeting. Try not to fuck it up."

"When in doubt, lob a second grenade."

"Say 'carp' while making a sucking noise, then tell me, what the hell would produce that sound?"

"The existence of the flamethrower is proof that, at one point, someone said, 'I really want to light those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough.'"

"Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!"

"You can't leave footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave butt prints in the sands of time?"

"birthdays are very good for you. Studies show that those who have the most live the longest." -$Heidi

"Homophobia is so gay."

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy."

"A man who uses his hands is a laborer. One who uses his hands and mind is a craftsman. He who uses his hands, and his mind, and his heart is an artist." -St. Francis

"Love is like alcohol. The more you love someone, the better looking they become."

"your life is the way you make it... deal with what you have and be thankful with what you got... you ungrateful little shit."

"Dream like you'll live forever, live like you'll die tomorrow."

"Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics...
Even if you win...
You're still retarded…"

"too weird to live, too rare to die."

"I'm not perfect, but at least I'm not you."

"If I wanna blitz myself into some papaya-induced hallucination, that's my business."

"I see it, and yet, I don't see it."

"Friends are Gods way of apologizing for family."

"Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening."

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." -Douglas Adams

"I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either."

"Just because people don't understand you doesn't make you an artist."

"Noodling dumbassery"

"If it doesn't fit, force it. If it breaks, you needed a new one anyway…"

"Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I'll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?"

"Erotic is like a little feather.
Perverted is when you use the whole chicken."

"OH GOD I LOVE BUNNIES! *convulsions*"

"*points* OMG LOOK A PURPLE DISTRACTION!!!! *runs*"